What couples fight about most?
You won’t have to look very far to discover that everyone is fighting about money. The subject of money is often the second most common tension causing element in any relationship – right behind sex. Divulging any information at all about your finances is social taboo. We just don’t do it! So imagine the “lack of comfort” that is naturally felt when opening yourself up to vulnerable discussions about something that isn’t talked about.
It’s quite sad really – I mean, not only are marriages failing because an understanding and compromise could not be reached – but that we live in culture where having these types of conversations are not common place. So many of us struggle as it is trying to navigate financial best practices on an individual level, much less with those we love.
How do I stop fighting about money with my spouse?
- Listen to Your Spouse. This is extremely important, especially if you both have opposite personalities or love languages or whatever. You both will become increasingly frustrated if you feel that the other isn’t listening to you or trying to understand you. Truth is, you have to understand their personality so you can adapt to it, relate to it, and emulate it. In return, you’ll receive the same consideration.
- Wait Until You Agree on Large Purchases. This should almost go without saying, but include each other on big purchases that will impact your family’s budget. Excluding your spouse in the decision making process might make them feel like you don’t care about them, or their opinion.
- Set Goals Together. You’ve got to be on the same page. The more you have an open and candid dialog about goals and money, the happier you’ll be. This will include sacrifices and compromises, but striving towards the same end-goal can put both of you in sync.
- Explain How Important This Is to You. Don’t be shy to express why something is important to you. Having the support of your spouse can make a huge difference in just our emotional capability to be successful in achieving our goals.
- Recognize Different Spending Habits. One of you might be a spender while the other might be a saver. This is okay, but you’ll want to establish some ground rules so that either of you aren’t constantly burdening one another with your approaches to money. This could simply be accomplished by creating an allowance for each of you to spend without question or prior approval.
Having open and constant communication about money with your spouse will go a long ways. But also being patient and understanding with them as well as you recognize they have different spending habits and personality than you do.
Just because money come’s and go’s doesn’t mean your relationships have to as well.